1st Kill of The Year

Being the hornball that i am and being 13 hours from home, any kill to me is a good kill. It's about 2months into the season and i have yet to get domed,handy, nor laid yet. Big time slump. My billets go out of town for my billet brothers hockey tournament, there gone till sunday we have a home in a home friday satruday, they left on thursday. So Saturday i decide to have the boys over and a big weekend split to keep us in first place. Call up the HS broadies and a few college ones who decided to bring some tool bag guys, which are fighter laid the law and kicked them out before he was gunna dummy them up. Back to the goods though. Havnt gotten any in 2 months i decided to go straight for a swamp donkey I could care less, i was gordon bombayed at the time and wanted pussy, and as we all know pussy is pussy. The guys are ribbing me about it the whole night thinking i should go for this Sarah girl who had a crush on me, wll hanging with her a few times before shes prude and like i said didnt feel like working for it. About 2 hours go bye i decide to take her in my room, a teamate of mine is in there which is fine with me good for him ya know so i take her to the nearest room the bathroom, drop my pants sit her upright on the sink and just pump her. Little did i know I didnt close the door another teamate rolls in who has to piss, funniest kid on are team I might add never played but a complete beauty in my eyes, As hes pissing hes squeezing her tits and smacking her ass and wants in on the action doesnt leave, so i finish he jumps in on her, i pull a complete dick move find are captain tell him whats going on captain catches a glimpse of him banging the swapper. Eventually Monday praccy rolls around and he gets fined and i did not. To this day me and the kid are still best friends and still Make swamp donkeys feel good about themselves.Location New York

Patrick Kane has his own Ragetastic Voyage.

BUFFALO, N.Y. (AP)—Chicago Blackhawks star Patrick Kane(notes) was charged with attacking a cab driver in his hometown Sunday, a beating that police said was triggered when the driver did not have 20 cents in change to give the player and his cousin.


FILE -In this June 25, 2007 fi…

AP - Aug 9, 3:45 pm EDT NHL Gallery Buffalo police said the 20-year-old Kane and his 21-year-old cousin, James Kane, had apparently caught a cab from the city’s downtown nightclub district at about 4 a.m. The cab driver suffered cuts to his face and his glasses were damaged, police spokesman Michael DeGeorge said.

Both men were charged with felony robbery and misdemeanor counts of theft of services and criminal mischief. Patrick Kane pleaded not guilty in City Court on Sunday, WIVB-TV reported. It was not immediately clear when James Kane will appear in court.

The driver said he was punched and hit by both men because he did not have 20 cents in change to give them, according to the police report.

A message left at the home of Patrick Kane’s parents was not immediately returned Sunday afternoon. Relatives who answered his grandfather’s phone and his mother’s cell phone declined to comment and could not say whether either Kane had an attorney.

A Blackhawks spokesman said the team is aware of the allegations against Kane.

“He is a big part of our organization and a team leader and we stand behind him,” spokesman Brandon Faber said. “As we are still collecting all the facts, it would be premature to comment further at this time.”

On Thursday, Patrick Kane was at a Buffalo ice rink where he played hockey as a child to help Mayor Byron Brown announce funding for improvements.

He said at the time he was happy to have time “to hang out back home in Buffalo.”

“The best thing about it is my friends treat me like I’m a regular kid,” said Kane, the first overall pick in the 2007 NHL draft. “They don’t treat me like a celebrity or whatever they might treat me like in Chicago.”

Kane played his first two NHL seasons with the Blackhawks and had 46 goals and 96 assists. He won the Calder Trophy, given to the league’s best rookie, in 2008.

Associated Press writer Sophia Tareen in Chicago contributed to this report.

Hate Mail

August 09: Need more retards? Half the stuff on this site is misspelt, immature, and moronic. So as far as you guys needing more retards.... you have plenty. I'm sure Crosby spent a lot of time on this kind of thing. I mean, surely writing stuff like this is how you make it in the hockey world. You people are the scum of the earth

Night in Paris

So one hammered night my buddy and I decide we are gonna bang this donkey "Paris" style. We have both fucked her before, so we think she will be down for it, so as the night goes by my buddy and her head up to my room. He looks back at me and gives me a head nod. So I follow them up there and as soon as they shut the door i opened it up and went it. She was sitting there fully dressed and he was naked. They were making out when all of a sudden She grabs me and takes off my belt. We both looked at each other and thought to ourselves this bitch wants it more then we do. We get her on her hands and knees and she is suckin me off while my buddy in nailing her from behind, and we started the legit Eiffel Tower. We had both our hands up high fiving, meanwhile she didnt realize what we were doing. She looked up at me and was like what are you doing? I just say " Just putting my hands on the ceiling to get balance." She is just like ok and goes back to her job, so we end up swapping her around numerous times banging her like the farm animal she was. After it was all said and done she started crying. It probably was because we kicked her ass out and called it a night. LOCATION: ALASKA

Battle Wounds

First time our team was together. We had a little retreat for some team bonding. We were supposed to leave our cell phones at home but no way. I just got this girls number a few days before and I really liked her. I was a young one on the team. 91 birth year, and there were 3 others. We bonded the fastest because of age and decided to shack up in the tent together. There were no coaches on the trip so it was pretty much a anything goes type of deal.. Well about 3 am I get a text from the girl saying to come over . She was smoking. One of the local figure skaters we saw at the rink, watched before practice. and all of the older guys wanted to tap it but she wouldn’t give them a chance. But she was giving me one. She tells me to come over and I freak out. This was my one time to show what I got and I didn’t want to fuck it up. I tell one of the other 91’s and he came up with the best idea, He said “ we will sneak down about a mile to my car and leave until morning”, So we all take off. We get to her house which was only 45 minutes away. For us to take this trip I better of been getting laid. Well even better we all get pussy.. She didn’t waste time. We go around the corner and I tell her how I snuck out for her and she thought it was the cutest thing and kissed me. I took the initiative to keep making out with her. I tried to fuck her standing up but it wasn’t working, so I tell her to bend over beside the bushes but that wasn’t working either. So we get in this weird position where I’m fingering her from the back and she is giving me like a reverse hand job. A DRY hand job. One of the most painful things of my life. I end up busting all over her sweat pants…. I didn’t tell her.. So we go back to the truck and one of my friends from the U.P straight up asks “you going to suck some dick or what”.. She replies. Dunno… as soon as she turns around my other team mate has his pants down and dick out, she looks to the left another dick just hanging down and then she looks back to the front and another dick just hangin and swangin. Putting 3 dicks in front of a girls is like a kid in a candy shop. You have to grab one or try out all of them because they are all just so different. She starts sucking off my buddy while giving 2 hand jobs. Just doing work… I was watching. Knowing that my cock had been beat off to death.. She switches off back and forth.. My team mate decided to get behind and start blasting away at the meat curtains. Well he had never fingered a girl before. Being that we are all 16 this was his first time.. As she is in deep concentration giving handys he slips his fingers in her pussy???? NOPE, her face turns into a look of concern and disbelief… 2 fingers strait in her ass. Playtime was now over. She does a little doggy yelp and takes the 2 fingers out her ass and goes inside. After a little bit of confrontation of course… We head back to camp. The vets and older rocks are just sitting waiting for us. The captain asked it better of been for something good. We tell him the story and he didn’t believe us. Because all of them had been after that pussy for a while and now youngest kids on the team got after that pussy wasn’t believable…. Well now there was only one thing to do PROVE IT. I pull my pants down, and my buddy sticks his 2 fingers in his face. My cock looked like I was skateboarding , fell, and got road rash, and his fingers….. Well lets just say the sent told the rest of the story in convincingly fashion. LOCATION: ONTARIO

Hate Mail

This will now be a weekly post. Ragetastic Voyages will post any hate mail that is sent in or complaints. Check it out each week. Thank you

August 7th: "As a fan of your team this is probably one of the most unclassy and disgusting things I've ever read... a complete disgrace to the program. This is a small town and news of this sort of thing travels fast. Definitely changes my opinion of the team and the involvement they should have in the community. Time to grow up, you should be embarrassed that you even thought about posting this"

July 31st: "Please take this off whoever wrote this. Coach Read this and called me. So call me and get this off the net. #28"

July 31st: " Who is this? Coach just called me and ripped me a new asshole for having that link of my facebook page. Take it off man. He said I have to make sure that it gets off the net or Face the consequences.It is a great story. Not gunna lie. But take it off the blog deal. Repost it in a few weeks. Just take it off for the time being. Please call me. #08-#8#-8##4"

July 31st: "Hey man. its #o# B####. My coach called me and is hassling me about getting this post off. Do me a favor and help save my ass by taking this post off. Its the no big deal. Repost it in a few weeks. Just take it off for the time being"

Ragetastic Voyages: These comments amuse us at RV. All on the same story. Must you guys be selfish and think you are the only Jr team in Washington. If I were the major Jr teams I would take offense.. What team is this and town keeps commenting on this post??? Well they gave away that answer all on they're own with comments like those up top. Great job!! and keep on posting over here at RV. Thank you. We need more retards like yourself.

PACKIN BOMBS

Packin bombs with the boys in the locker room after a summer skate. I strike up the idea to call the dirty bird of the town and tell the boys I want to put a show on for them. A couple texts later she is as down as ever. We get back to my buddies place to set up the "studio". Fully decked out with 2 futons one in the couch mode one in the sleeper position with a spot light shining over both. I bring her back to the "studio" she knows its business time pushes me on the couch rips my pants off starts dome rockin me while I am givin the boys the ol' thumbs up. Little do I know 2 of them are behind the couch looking over my shoulder give me a tap on the head and go back down. Then end up pounding her for a disappointing 5 minute showing on the field but still gave them a good show. We get in the car to get her home. My buddy that was behind the couch texts her and she starts balling. I ask her whats wrong and she tells me she saw a head behind the couch when we were leaving and the text confirmed that. LOCATION: WISCONSIN

Captain Clutch

So its the end of year we get eliminated in the playoffs, everyone on the team leaves except me and the captain who i roomed with and drove with and we both were taking a college class so we had to stay an extra week. Being our billet mom was the housing coordinator she was a strict bitch. we had to lie to her all the time to sneak broads through the basement window at night. So finally we say fuck it and decide to stay at a hotel. Some shitty red roof inn. His paps paid for it all so it was all good. Of course now that we have freedom we are boozing nightly, smoking nighty, and wheeling nightly. Nothing impressive but getting girls none the less. One night our luck changed. We are sitting in the hot tub boozing , and dipping, its about 45 degrees that night. If you’ve ever been to a red roof inn you know they have vending machines outside. Captain gets up to go get some snacks. All the munchies you can ask for. Comes back about 10 minutes later, I ask him what took him so long all he says is "call me captain clutch" I’m all confused high drunk all of that. We go back in the room and a little 40 or 50 year old Mexican housekeeper is waiting for us. Decent looking, We both ride her all night she gets done punches out. The last 3 weeks the lady just came to our room during her midnight shifts and same thing over and over again.. LOCATION: MINNESOTA

Dildos ?????

Well it was late in the season me and this rookie headed over to these girls house hoping for some 2 on 2 action. We go over there and right off the bat the vibes aren’t right. We send them to go get booze and the second they leave we raid there dresser drawers trying to find some stuff we can bring to court. We open the panty drawer and find an assortment of panties and a 6 inch pink dildo. I stuff it in my pocket and the girls come back. We drink all their booze realizing this night is not going anywhere. I take off and I start walking home drunk. The small town cops pull up behind me and turn on their lights. I take off like a black man. I start running through yards and as I come around the corner I run right into the cops .They pull their pistols and flash lights ,and tell me to get the fuck down. They cuff me , search my pockets, and hellllooo to the pink dildo and panties. They looked stunned. The cop then asks if she was hot and I reply “of course“. They take me down to the police station. I blow a 1.8 at 4:30 am which I believe is NAHL record. They call my house and my billets bail me out. As I check out of the station and approach the counter I give the cop my name and information. As soon as I do that all cops in the background start laughing and staring. Out he pulls the pink dildo and panties. LOCATION: N. IOWA

Milfs,Cops and White Socks

Early in the season I was dating a girl from the city I was playing in. and her little friend was having her 18 year b day party. So me and few of the boys crashed it looking for new tail. Two of the 4 took off to bang some tail. While me and my roommate sat back and held down the fort. I was running around and I got introduced to the mother while she was just getting sloshed. She was far from good looking. But she wanted dick. She asked me if I was model I told her no I play hockey. She then goes off and tells me how she knows a lot of people and has a lot of pull .But all she wants to do is fuck. My roommate came in when he heard all she wants to do was fuck and he had all the intention in the world on taking her down. So I let him be and wheel and I got try to find some other ass… half hour later he comes to me saying I need to get him upstairs in 15 minutes to meet the mom. Well as we try to walk upstairs some kid with beer muscles approaches us telling us we weren’t allowed upstairs. I let him know if he didn’t shit was going to get ugly. We go upstairs and #6 goes to the left to finish the mission at hand and while I wonder around the house seeing if there was anything worth stealing…. Nothing to steal…. While being bored I was waiting on the other 2 to come back. When they come back they find me in the upstairs hallway asking me where my roommate is. I whisper “he’s fucking the mom” right when I finish my statement a door opens, it’s the mom’s 14 year old son. My buddy proceeds to repeat my statement and loud enough for him to hear The son storms towards his mothers room , opens the door, slams it shut ,and screams “not again ,fuck, not again” .. Till this day I will never forget that statement .. My team mate tries to calm him down and tells him its not what it looks like and no one is in there. We re open the door and find the mom by herself. We look around the room and the back balcony door is open with the drapes swaying in the wind. We look at each other in awe…. Where is my roommate? We go downstairs, and by this time the cops were there breaking up the party. So we go outside and sit in our car, thinking to ourselves “ where the fuck did he go” at that time we hear a cop yelling “ Put your clothes on son, or turn around and keep running” We turn around ourselves and look who it was, good old number 6. Skipping back down the street in nothing but white socks and a smile. LOCATION:Massachusetts

Ski Hill Robbery

So I had just broken up with my girlfriend of 8 months and decided that I wanted to have an epic night with the boys, so it all started at about 1130 in the afternoon at my buddies house. We were all a bit poor seeing as we played junior hockey for a living, so we head down to the liquor store to pick up some cheap booze… and the cheapest thing there was baby duck champagne. So we each picked up about 2 or 3 huge bottle of this shit and go back to the house and just start crushing them! We were pretty hammered later on and decided we wanted to do something so me and 3 of my best buds raid his moms liquor cabinet and find a bottle of southern comfort and vodka and decide were gonna go up to the ski hill to sneak into the year round heated pool. So we get there after slamin back some serious booze and hop this fence to get in and were swimming around for a bit but I get bored and see that they left the pro shop open so the genius I am decide to grab a buddy and go in to steal some shit… we get about 2 feet in the store and the alarm goes off louder than fuck… my 2 buddies in the pool jump out and over the fence but the other dude cant get the fuck over the fence and im to drunk to give him a boost so I say fuck it and kick down the fence and we run over and have to hide in the bushes for like 30 mins to wait till the cops go away… we finally all meet back up at the car and are fucking shitting our pants that we almost got busted. So we end up crushing the rest of the bottles on the way home drunk out of our minds and have a great fucking night. LOCATION: BCHL

Lost in the Heat of Battle

So this story is a good one that I sometimes wish I could forget, but I am kind of proud of. We have all heard of hiding your buddies in the closet and it was kind of like that. I’m at my buddies house and its me and three other guys so we give this swap donkey a call. I am embarrassed to say she played football, was missing a tooth, and was rumored to have a stid. But she was alright lookin. She had already banged a few guys on the team and I figured someone would get lucky. Sure enough my buddy is getting banged on the bed and all three of us are in the room watchin and giggling like little girls. Funny thing is the girl just says, “I know you guys are in the room” and keeps pumpin. My one friend, was grabbin her tits and slappin her ass just laughin and she kept riding the other guy. For the first time in my life, it was too much, like a fucked up fetish porno, and I had to walk out. THEN the next thing I know I’m in the bathroom and this girl comes in cryin. I ask whats up? and she says “its stuck”. My buds condom had come off in her vaginal box and she couldn’t get it out. SO being a trooper I am. I fished that shit out like a like a bass fishing pro. LOCATION: NAHL

Sneaky Daughter

I was playing hockey over seas at the time and when I got back the season had already started. When I got back into town there was lack of support from the billets, and there were no more billets at the time. So my coach decided to take me in and let me live at his place for a couple weeks. His family was cool, along with his gorgeous blonde daughter who just screamed FUCK ME!! every time I looked at her.. She was a cool girl. Always talking to me. So I though she was the good girl type. Well one day I come home and the mom asks me if I wanted to go watch her nephews hockey game, because the only way her daughter would go was if I went. Of course I say yes. We sit down and the daughter and I start talking, she asks for my number. As soon as I give it to her I get a text in a matter of seconds. We start off with small talk… Obviously she’s texting me because we are about to talk about something we aren’t supposed to. Being Rico Suave, I say I herd from a younger team mate that you were a bad kisser. Which wasn’t true.. She t bombs me back with “ Well kissing isn’t my forte” and I ask what is and she said “ Fucking and sucking dick”.. Well fuck now we are talking.. I keep on looking over at coach and just laughing. He , not knowing his daughter was a little whore… we get back to the house and we are texting back and forth. I talked to my buddy online asking for advice. He was playing college hockey in Colorado Springs at the time.. He tells me do the damn thang.. As soon as that happens I text her saying “ we should get alone sometime” she tells me to sneak in her room. Well I didn’t want to get caught in her room. I rather have it the other way. So I just say “ listen, I don’t wanna get caught, I rather be able to blame everything on u. He wont be that mad at me in that case”. I was hoping she would come in that night. She didn’t…. Next night at dinner she sits across the table from me, and she is just smiling at me and rubbing my leg. I couldn’t help but laugh. Her dad asked whats the matter. I didn’t say anything… I’m laying in bet its almost 2 am. 15 minutes roll by and I’m pretty much asleep. I hear my door open and my sheets pull of me. I look over and its her. Naked under a long t shirt. She hops on top and we start fucking. She was a wild one. Must I add the parents room was straight across the hall way.. We switch positions and she started to scream heavily. I shoved her face straight into the pillow and held it there. She kept on trying to breath but I was too busy. I couldn’t risk her getting me caught. I finally let her up and by that time I was finished. I ended busting on the back of her long black shirt.. 4 days go by , Its time for the weekly washing of the clothes.. Coach starts yelling at his daughter. What the hell happened?? You ruined my work out shirt!!! LOCATION: ONTARIO

Cards, Dice, and Taxi Cab

We just got paid and wanted to head out and spend a little money. I play in the Coast and temptation is just breathing around us in Vegas. We start at the house with a some of the boys getting hammered and drinking some BL limes. Driving was not an option so we call over a taxi and get the night going for a RAGETASTIC night.. We stroll on into old Las Vegas. Feeling like straight ballers and acting like we ran show knowing we are the only pro team in town. A buddy of ours loved to play craps so we hit up the tables, not knowing what the fuck I was doing. We each have 2,000. All of us hoping to double up. Knowing we play in the coast and don’t get paid shit... Not knowing what I was doing I decide to get 1,000 in chips. While playing the field. If u all know, playing the field is the dumbest bet. U either hit the number or u loose your money. I end up loosing 1,000 with in 30 minutes. Along with my other buddies who win 500. We decided to get the fuck out and head to the strip where the rich folk were and play some poker. All of us decide poker is what he had the best chance at. I mean shit, that’s all we do on the road and played on buses in Jr’s. We sit at this table that had a dude wearing a gay ass hockey jersey, and one other guy. Thinking we were going to just hustle the table was a mistake. We end up loosing everything we had in a matter of 2 hours. Who the fuck did we just play?? Some dude named Daniel Negreanu (look him up). We ended up finding out he runs Vegas more that we ever will. So now we have no ride back home.. Well shit what do we do.. Taxi cab?? I guess so. We flag one down and hop in. All of us are looking around like wtf are we going to do. No money. Well the teenager in me gets this brilliant idea. So I text the boys. They all look at me with a little bit of worry.. I say follow my lead. We get back to our complex and I tell the taxi cab driver to let us out at this park. We all get out and everyone looks at me.. I take off running through the park like a sprinter, and everyone scatters like a bunch of little Mexicans… We learned 3 things that night. Dice and Cards don’t give a fuck who you are… Oh and we just lost a combined $14,000. LOCATION: NEVADA

Just a Mess

Playoff time… Last game of our home stand. Decided to head out to a party in the country. This was a real treat. Everyone from our team was being a bunch of bitches and decided to stay in for the night. Only about 5 of us and a couple health’s decided to roll on over for the shindig. The girl having it was this broad I’ve been slowly but surely trying to get after. Knowing that most guys on the team were after her, I was trying to stay incognito about the whole ordeal.... All of us roll in together. What do I see, some sloppy bitches dancing on a table. Well shit this is what I’m talking about. We all get our fair share of lap dances. But the girl I’ve been trying to get with gets on me and starts giving me some sort of lap dance? I dunno it was horrible. I was hoping she was going to serve her self a one way ticket to pound town. But not tonight. Shit would go far down south. We ended up going in this bathroom. I try to get some head, but ended up getting a little dry handy. Did i get off ?? no... She ends up getting on top of me while I’m sitting on the toilet seat, how classy eh? Oh hells yes it is!… We start making out and I’m just messing around down stairs, she kept on doing this obnoxious grinding on me. Well now she stands up, and my fingers have this thick paste feeling, I look down and look at her inner thigh….. WTF!!! Blood. ..Come to find out she was using my nice new Calvin Klein dress shirt as a rag and my fingers as tampons. LOCATION: VANCOUVER

Scuba Steve

It was a hot humid summer night and training camp was approaching and just got done with our alumni golf tournament. I was hanging out with this girl at her family bbq, and being the local celebrity that I was. The father was just loving me. Little did he know while we were talking about cars and hockey I was thinking about busting a massive load upon his daughters face. As the night went on many beers and tequila were being consumed and sexual tension between my cock and her face were approaching rapidly. She wanted it and in order to get away from the fam. She insisted on me teaching her to shoot a puck around the corner on her little bro’s street hockey net. But we both full well knew she had no attentions of learning she just wanted a little pre game warm up with some finger blast action. It was short warm up I didn’t want her father coming around the corner and seeing his little sweetheart in this unflattering position. So afterwards we found ourselves canoodling in the hot tub. The family was inside. One thing led to another and she started going down on me in the hot tub. I was in state of mind of nothing but pleasure. Then out of the dark here comes her little brother. Asking where his older sister was. As her lips were wrapped around my dick under water. I had no choice but to hold her down. She starts grabbing struggling to get some air. As I try and convince her brother that his sis was upstairs. He leaves just in the nick of time for his sis to come up for air. She was truly rattled but was a trooper and finished her job. LOCATION:TEXAS

Gasping For Air

After hooking up with girl for a few weeks. I knew she was down to get freaky. But I wanted to bring it out of her without freaking her out. Well one night after a tumble in the sheets. I ask “Is there anything you wanna do we haven’t tried.” and straight out of left field she goes yes I want you to choke me. I lay back in shock and I’m just completely blown away. What came out this hot little thangs mouth. She wanted me to choke her. Well I thought about it for a few days after a little team party. We start getting at it, and I was like fuck it, when in Rome. So I take my hand and put it to her neck like im her pimp. And she starts gasping for air. I'm freak out. last thing I need is to be caught with a dead girl in my bed. The thought of trying to explain to my billets why there is a dead girl in my bed. Plays back in my head again and again. But this little lady to my amazement tells me to choke her harder. Who I am not to grant this girl her wish?? So I start choking her like im Freddy Krueger. Throw all caution to wind. This act made me last longer then I ever have in my entire life probably because I was truly worried about murder. But after, this girl acted like she just ate about a handful of ecstasy pills. LOCATION: MINNESOTA

Knockin The Skates

After rockin out my 9k’s till they were near death. Mom and pops sent me a brand new pair of 9k’s well after pracky. I got them heat molded and brought them home and into my room. Well this little philly I've been seeing for a few weeks came over for the nightly slay sess. Well anyways I felt like changing it up a bit so before we start going at it I took my skates laced them up like it’s a Saturday night home game, however this was tricky little move. I recommend this move to everyone. It felt like I broke my skates in without the pain, it was all great until she moved to reverse cowgirl and saw the steel from my skates gleaming in the moon light, but being the winner she was she didn’t let it distract her from the job at hand. LOCATION: NAHL