Dildos ?????

Well it was late in the season me and this rookie headed over to these girls house hoping for some 2 on 2 action. We go over there and right off the bat the vibes aren’t right. We send them to go get booze and the second they leave we raid there dresser drawers trying to find some stuff we can bring to court. We open the panty drawer and find an assortment of panties and a 6 inch pink dildo. I stuff it in my pocket and the girls come back. We drink all their booze realizing this night is not going anywhere. I take off and I start walking home drunk. The small town cops pull up behind me and turn on their lights. I take off like a black man. I start running through yards and as I come around the corner I run right into the cops .They pull their pistols and flash lights ,and tell me to get the fuck down. They cuff me , search my pockets, and hellllooo to the pink dildo and panties. They looked stunned. The cop then asks if she was hot and I reply “of course“. They take me down to the police station. I blow a 1.8 at 4:30 am which I believe is NAHL record. They call my house and my billets bail me out. As I check out of the station and approach the counter I give the cop my name and information. As soon as I do that all cops in the background start laughing and staring. Out he pulls the pink dildo and panties. LOCATION: N. IOWA