1st Kill of The Year

Being the hornball that i am and being 13 hours from home, any kill to me is a good kill. It's about 2months into the season and i have yet to get domed,handy, nor laid yet. Big time slump. My billets go out of town for my billet brothers hockey tournament, there gone till sunday we have a home in a home friday satruday, they left on thursday. So Saturday i decide to have the boys over and a big weekend split to keep us in first place. Call up the HS broadies and a few college ones who decided to bring some tool bag guys, which are fighter laid the law and kicked them out before he was gunna dummy them up. Back to the goods though. Havnt gotten any in 2 months i decided to go straight for a swamp donkey I could care less, i was gordon bombayed at the time and wanted pussy, and as we all know pussy is pussy. The guys are ribbing me about it the whole night thinking i should go for this Sarah girl who had a crush on me, wll hanging with her a few times before shes prude and like i said didnt feel like working for it. About 2 hours go bye i decide to take her in my room, a teamate of mine is in there which is fine with me good for him ya know so i take her to the nearest room the bathroom, drop my pants sit her upright on the sink and just pump her. Little did i know I didnt close the door another teamate rolls in who has to piss, funniest kid on are team I might add never played but a complete beauty in my eyes, As hes pissing hes squeezing her tits and smacking her ass and wants in on the action doesnt leave, so i finish he jumps in on her, i pull a complete dick move find are captain tell him whats going on captain catches a glimpse of him banging the swapper. Eventually Monday praccy rolls around and he gets fined and i did not. To this day me and the kid are still best friends and still Make swamp donkeys feel good about themselves.Location New York

Patrick Kane has his own Ragetastic Voyage.

BUFFALO, N.Y. (AP)—Chicago Blackhawks star Patrick Kane(notes) was charged with attacking a cab driver in his hometown Sunday, a beating that police said was triggered when the driver did not have 20 cents in change to give the player and his cousin.


FILE -In this June 25, 2007 fi…

AP - Aug 9, 3:45 pm EDT NHL Gallery Buffalo police said the 20-year-old Kane and his 21-year-old cousin, James Kane, had apparently caught a cab from the city’s downtown nightclub district at about 4 a.m. The cab driver suffered cuts to his face and his glasses were damaged, police spokesman Michael DeGeorge said.

Both men were charged with felony robbery and misdemeanor counts of theft of services and criminal mischief. Patrick Kane pleaded not guilty in City Court on Sunday, WIVB-TV reported. It was not immediately clear when James Kane will appear in court.

The driver said he was punched and hit by both men because he did not have 20 cents in change to give them, according to the police report.

A message left at the home of Patrick Kane’s parents was not immediately returned Sunday afternoon. Relatives who answered his grandfather’s phone and his mother’s cell phone declined to comment and could not say whether either Kane had an attorney.

A Blackhawks spokesman said the team is aware of the allegations against Kane.

“He is a big part of our organization and a team leader and we stand behind him,” spokesman Brandon Faber said. “As we are still collecting all the facts, it would be premature to comment further at this time.”

On Thursday, Patrick Kane was at a Buffalo ice rink where he played hockey as a child to help Mayor Byron Brown announce funding for improvements.

He said at the time he was happy to have time “to hang out back home in Buffalo.”

“The best thing about it is my friends treat me like I’m a regular kid,” said Kane, the first overall pick in the 2007 NHL draft. “They don’t treat me like a celebrity or whatever they might treat me like in Chicago.”

Kane played his first two NHL seasons with the Blackhawks and had 46 goals and 96 assists. He won the Calder Trophy, given to the league’s best rookie, in 2008.

Associated Press writer Sophia Tareen in Chicago contributed to this report.

Hate Mail

August 09: Need more retards? Half the stuff on this site is misspelt, immature, and moronic. So as far as you guys needing more retards.... you have plenty. I'm sure Crosby spent a lot of time on this kind of thing. I mean, surely writing stuff like this is how you make it in the hockey world. You people are the scum of the earth

Night in Paris

So one hammered night my buddy and I decide we are gonna bang this donkey "Paris" style. We have both fucked her before, so we think she will be down for it, so as the night goes by my buddy and her head up to my room. He looks back at me and gives me a head nod. So I follow them up there and as soon as they shut the door i opened it up and went it. She was sitting there fully dressed and he was naked. They were making out when all of a sudden She grabs me and takes off my belt. We both looked at each other and thought to ourselves this bitch wants it more then we do. We get her on her hands and knees and she is suckin me off while my buddy in nailing her from behind, and we started the legit Eiffel Tower. We had both our hands up high fiving, meanwhile she didnt realize what we were doing. She looked up at me and was like what are you doing? I just say " Just putting my hands on the ceiling to get balance." She is just like ok and goes back to her job, so we end up swapping her around numerous times banging her like the farm animal she was. After it was all said and done she started crying. It probably was because we kicked her ass out and called it a night. LOCATION: ALASKA

Battle Wounds

First time our team was together. We had a little retreat for some team bonding. We were supposed to leave our cell phones at home but no way. I just got this girls number a few days before and I really liked her. I was a young one on the team. 91 birth year, and there were 3 others. We bonded the fastest because of age and decided to shack up in the tent together. There were no coaches on the trip so it was pretty much a anything goes type of deal.. Well about 3 am I get a text from the girl saying to come over . She was smoking. One of the local figure skaters we saw at the rink, watched before practice. and all of the older guys wanted to tap it but she wouldn’t give them a chance. But she was giving me one. She tells me to come over and I freak out. This was my one time to show what I got and I didn’t want to fuck it up. I tell one of the other 91’s and he came up with the best idea, He said “ we will sneak down about a mile to my car and leave until morning”, So we all take off. We get to her house which was only 45 minutes away. For us to take this trip I better of been getting laid. Well even better we all get pussy.. She didn’t waste time. We go around the corner and I tell her how I snuck out for her and she thought it was the cutest thing and kissed me. I took the initiative to keep making out with her. I tried to fuck her standing up but it wasn’t working, so I tell her to bend over beside the bushes but that wasn’t working either. So we get in this weird position where I’m fingering her from the back and she is giving me like a reverse hand job. A DRY hand job. One of the most painful things of my life. I end up busting all over her sweat pants…. I didn’t tell her.. So we go back to the truck and one of my friends from the U.P straight up asks “you going to suck some dick or what”.. She replies. Dunno… as soon as she turns around my other team mate has his pants down and dick out, she looks to the left another dick just hanging down and then she looks back to the front and another dick just hangin and swangin. Putting 3 dicks in front of a girls is like a kid in a candy shop. You have to grab one or try out all of them because they are all just so different. She starts sucking off my buddy while giving 2 hand jobs. Just doing work… I was watching. Knowing that my cock had been beat off to death.. She switches off back and forth.. My team mate decided to get behind and start blasting away at the meat curtains. Well he had never fingered a girl before. Being that we are all 16 this was his first time.. As she is in deep concentration giving handys he slips his fingers in her pussy???? NOPE, her face turns into a look of concern and disbelief… 2 fingers strait in her ass. Playtime was now over. She does a little doggy yelp and takes the 2 fingers out her ass and goes inside. After a little bit of confrontation of course… We head back to camp. The vets and older rocks are just sitting waiting for us. The captain asked it better of been for something good. We tell him the story and he didn’t believe us. Because all of them had been after that pussy for a while and now youngest kids on the team got after that pussy wasn’t believable…. Well now there was only one thing to do PROVE IT. I pull my pants down, and my buddy sticks his 2 fingers in his face. My cock looked like I was skateboarding , fell, and got road rash, and his fingers….. Well lets just say the sent told the rest of the story in convincingly fashion. LOCATION: ONTARIO

Hate Mail

This will now be a weekly post. Ragetastic Voyages will post any hate mail that is sent in or complaints. Check it out each week. Thank you

August 7th: "As a fan of your team this is probably one of the most unclassy and disgusting things I've ever read... a complete disgrace to the program. This is a small town and news of this sort of thing travels fast. Definitely changes my opinion of the team and the involvement they should have in the community. Time to grow up, you should be embarrassed that you even thought about posting this"

July 31st: "Please take this off whoever wrote this. Coach Read this and called me. So call me and get this off the net. #28"

July 31st: " Who is this? Coach just called me and ripped me a new asshole for having that link of my facebook page. Take it off man. He said I have to make sure that it gets off the net or Face the consequences.It is a great story. Not gunna lie. But take it off the blog deal. Repost it in a few weeks. Just take it off for the time being. Please call me. #08-#8#-8##4"

July 31st: "Hey man. its #o# B####. My coach called me and is hassling me about getting this post off. Do me a favor and help save my ass by taking this post off. Its the no big deal. Repost it in a few weeks. Just take it off for the time being"

Ragetastic Voyages: These comments amuse us at RV. All on the same story. Must you guys be selfish and think you are the only Jr team in Washington. If I were the major Jr teams I would take offense.. What team is this and town keeps commenting on this post??? Well they gave away that answer all on they're own with comments like those up top. Great job!! and keep on posting over here at RV. Thank you. We need more retards like yourself.

PACKIN BOMBS

Packin bombs with the boys in the locker room after a summer skate. I strike up the idea to call the dirty bird of the town and tell the boys I want to put a show on for them. A couple texts later she is as down as ever. We get back to my buddies place to set up the "studio". Fully decked out with 2 futons one in the couch mode one in the sleeper position with a spot light shining over both. I bring her back to the "studio" she knows its business time pushes me on the couch rips my pants off starts dome rockin me while I am givin the boys the ol' thumbs up. Little do I know 2 of them are behind the couch looking over my shoulder give me a tap on the head and go back down. Then end up pounding her for a disappointing 5 minute showing on the field but still gave them a good show. We get in the car to get her home. My buddy that was behind the couch texts her and she starts balling. I ask her whats wrong and she tells me she saw a head behind the couch when we were leaving and the text confirmed that. LOCATION: WISCONSIN