1st Kill of The Year

Being the hornball that i am and being 13 hours from home, any kill to me is a good kill. It's about 2months into the season and i have yet to get domed,handy, nor laid yet. Big time slump. My billets go out of town for my billet brothers hockey tournament, there gone till sunday we have a home in a home friday satruday, they left on thursday. So Saturday i decide to have the boys over and a big weekend split to keep us in first place. Call up the HS broadies and a few college ones who decided to bring some tool bag guys, which are fighter laid the law and kicked them out before he was gunna dummy them up. Back to the goods though. Havnt gotten any in 2 months i decided to go straight for a swamp donkey I could care less, i was gordon bombayed at the time and wanted pussy, and as we all know pussy is pussy. The guys are ribbing me about it the whole night thinking i should go for this Sarah girl who had a crush on me, wll hanging with her a few times before shes prude and like i said didnt feel like working for it. About 2 hours go bye i decide to take her in my room, a teamate of mine is in there which is fine with me good for him ya know so i take her to the nearest room the bathroom, drop my pants sit her upright on the sink and just pump her. Little did i know I didnt close the door another teamate rolls in who has to piss, funniest kid on are team I might add never played but a complete beauty in my eyes, As hes pissing hes squeezing her tits and smacking her ass and wants in on the action doesnt leave, so i finish he jumps in on her, i pull a complete dick move find are captain tell him whats going on captain catches a glimpse of him banging the swapper. Eventually Monday praccy rolls around and he gets fined and i did not. To this day me and the kid are still best friends and still Make swamp donkeys feel good about themselves.Location New York

Patrick Kane has his own Ragetastic Voyage.

BUFFALO, N.Y. (AP)—Chicago Blackhawks star Patrick Kane(notes) was charged with attacking a cab driver in his hometown Sunday, a beating that police said was triggered when the driver did not have 20 cents in change to give the player and his cousin.


FILE -In this June 25, 2007 fi…

AP - Aug 9, 3:45 pm EDT NHL Gallery Buffalo police said the 20-year-old Kane and his 21-year-old cousin, James Kane, had apparently caught a cab from the city’s downtown nightclub district at about 4 a.m. The cab driver suffered cuts to his face and his glasses were damaged, police spokesman Michael DeGeorge said.

Both men were charged with felony robbery and misdemeanor counts of theft of services and criminal mischief. Patrick Kane pleaded not guilty in City Court on Sunday, WIVB-TV reported. It was not immediately clear when James Kane will appear in court.

The driver said he was punched and hit by both men because he did not have 20 cents in change to give them, according to the police report.

A message left at the home of Patrick Kane’s parents was not immediately returned Sunday afternoon. Relatives who answered his grandfather’s phone and his mother’s cell phone declined to comment and could not say whether either Kane had an attorney.

A Blackhawks spokesman said the team is aware of the allegations against Kane.

“He is a big part of our organization and a team leader and we stand behind him,” spokesman Brandon Faber said. “As we are still collecting all the facts, it would be premature to comment further at this time.”

On Thursday, Patrick Kane was at a Buffalo ice rink where he played hockey as a child to help Mayor Byron Brown announce funding for improvements.

He said at the time he was happy to have time “to hang out back home in Buffalo.”

“The best thing about it is my friends treat me like I’m a regular kid,” said Kane, the first overall pick in the 2007 NHL draft. “They don’t treat me like a celebrity or whatever they might treat me like in Chicago.”

Kane played his first two NHL seasons with the Blackhawks and had 46 goals and 96 assists. He won the Calder Trophy, given to the league’s best rookie, in 2008.

Associated Press writer Sophia Tareen in Chicago contributed to this report.

Hate Mail

August 09: Need more retards? Half the stuff on this site is misspelt, immature, and moronic. So as far as you guys needing more retards.... you have plenty. I'm sure Crosby spent a lot of time on this kind of thing. I mean, surely writing stuff like this is how you make it in the hockey world. You people are the scum of the earth

Night in Paris

So one hammered night my buddy and I decide we are gonna bang this donkey "Paris" style. We have both fucked her before, so we think she will be down for it, so as the night goes by my buddy and her head up to my room. He looks back at me and gives me a head nod. So I follow them up there and as soon as they shut the door i opened it up and went it. She was sitting there fully dressed and he was naked. They were making out when all of a sudden She grabs me and takes off my belt. We both looked at each other and thought to ourselves this bitch wants it more then we do. We get her on her hands and knees and she is suckin me off while my buddy in nailing her from behind, and we started the legit Eiffel Tower. We had both our hands up high fiving, meanwhile she didnt realize what we were doing. She looked up at me and was like what are you doing? I just say " Just putting my hands on the ceiling to get balance." She is just like ok and goes back to her job, so we end up swapping her around numerous times banging her like the farm animal she was. After it was all said and done she started crying. It probably was because we kicked her ass out and called it a night. LOCATION: ALASKA

Battle Wounds

First time our team was together. We had a little retreat for some team bonding. We were supposed to leave our cell phones at home but no way. I just got this girls number a few days before and I really liked her. I was a young one on the team. 91 birth year, and there were 3 others. We bonded the fastest because of age and decided to shack up in the tent together. There were no coaches on the trip so it was pretty much a anything goes type of deal.. Well about 3 am I get a text from the girl saying to come over . She was smoking. One of the local figure skaters we saw at the rink, watched before practice. and all of the older guys wanted to tap it but she wouldn’t give them a chance. But she was giving me one. She tells me to come over and I freak out. This was my one time to show what I got and I didn’t want to fuck it up. I tell one of the other 91’s and he came up with the best idea, He said “ we will sneak down about a mile to my car and leave until morning”, So we all take off. We get to her house which was only 45 minutes away. For us to take this trip I better of been getting laid. Well even better we all get pussy.. She didn’t waste time. We go around the corner and I tell her how I snuck out for her and she thought it was the cutest thing and kissed me. I took the initiative to keep making out with her. I tried to fuck her standing up but it wasn’t working, so I tell her to bend over beside the bushes but that wasn’t working either. So we get in this weird position where I’m fingering her from the back and she is giving me like a reverse hand job. A DRY hand job. One of the most painful things of my life. I end up busting all over her sweat pants…. I didn’t tell her.. So we go back to the truck and one of my friends from the U.P straight up asks “you going to suck some dick or what”.. She replies. Dunno… as soon as she turns around my other team mate has his pants down and dick out, she looks to the left another dick just hanging down and then she looks back to the front and another dick just hangin and swangin. Putting 3 dicks in front of a girls is like a kid in a candy shop. You have to grab one or try out all of them because they are all just so different. She starts sucking off my buddy while giving 2 hand jobs. Just doing work… I was watching. Knowing that my cock had been beat off to death.. She switches off back and forth.. My team mate decided to get behind and start blasting away at the meat curtains. Well he had never fingered a girl before. Being that we are all 16 this was his first time.. As she is in deep concentration giving handys he slips his fingers in her pussy???? NOPE, her face turns into a look of concern and disbelief… 2 fingers strait in her ass. Playtime was now over. She does a little doggy yelp and takes the 2 fingers out her ass and goes inside. After a little bit of confrontation of course… We head back to camp. The vets and older rocks are just sitting waiting for us. The captain asked it better of been for something good. We tell him the story and he didn’t believe us. Because all of them had been after that pussy for a while and now youngest kids on the team got after that pussy wasn’t believable…. Well now there was only one thing to do PROVE IT. I pull my pants down, and my buddy sticks his 2 fingers in his face. My cock looked like I was skateboarding , fell, and got road rash, and his fingers….. Well lets just say the sent told the rest of the story in convincingly fashion. LOCATION: ONTARIO

Hate Mail

This will now be a weekly post. Ragetastic Voyages will post any hate mail that is sent in or complaints. Check it out each week. Thank you

August 7th: "As a fan of your team this is probably one of the most unclassy and disgusting things I've ever read... a complete disgrace to the program. This is a small town and news of this sort of thing travels fast. Definitely changes my opinion of the team and the involvement they should have in the community. Time to grow up, you should be embarrassed that you even thought about posting this"

July 31st: "Please take this off whoever wrote this. Coach Read this and called me. So call me and get this off the net. #28"

July 31st: " Who is this? Coach just called me and ripped me a new asshole for having that link of my facebook page. Take it off man. He said I have to make sure that it gets off the net or Face the consequences.It is a great story. Not gunna lie. But take it off the blog deal. Repost it in a few weeks. Just take it off for the time being. Please call me. #08-#8#-8##4"

July 31st: "Hey man. its #o# B####. My coach called me and is hassling me about getting this post off. Do me a favor and help save my ass by taking this post off. Its the no big deal. Repost it in a few weeks. Just take it off for the time being"

Ragetastic Voyages: These comments amuse us at RV. All on the same story. Must you guys be selfish and think you are the only Jr team in Washington. If I were the major Jr teams I would take offense.. What team is this and town keeps commenting on this post??? Well they gave away that answer all on they're own with comments like those up top. Great job!! and keep on posting over here at RV. Thank you. We need more retards like yourself.

PACKIN BOMBS

Packin bombs with the boys in the locker room after a summer skate. I strike up the idea to call the dirty bird of the town and tell the boys I want to put a show on for them. A couple texts later she is as down as ever. We get back to my buddies place to set up the "studio". Fully decked out with 2 futons one in the couch mode one in the sleeper position with a spot light shining over both. I bring her back to the "studio" she knows its business time pushes me on the couch rips my pants off starts dome rockin me while I am givin the boys the ol' thumbs up. Little do I know 2 of them are behind the couch looking over my shoulder give me a tap on the head and go back down. Then end up pounding her for a disappointing 5 minute showing on the field but still gave them a good show. We get in the car to get her home. My buddy that was behind the couch texts her and she starts balling. I ask her whats wrong and she tells me she saw a head behind the couch when we were leaving and the text confirmed that. LOCATION: WISCONSIN

Captain Clutch

So its the end of year we get eliminated in the playoffs, everyone on the team leaves except me and the captain who i roomed with and drove with and we both were taking a college class so we had to stay an extra week. Being our billet mom was the housing coordinator she was a strict bitch. we had to lie to her all the time to sneak broads through the basement window at night. So finally we say fuck it and decide to stay at a hotel. Some shitty red roof inn. His paps paid for it all so it was all good. Of course now that we have freedom we are boozing nightly, smoking nighty, and wheeling nightly. Nothing impressive but getting girls none the less. One night our luck changed. We are sitting in the hot tub boozing , and dipping, its about 45 degrees that night. If you’ve ever been to a red roof inn you know they have vending machines outside. Captain gets up to go get some snacks. All the munchies you can ask for. Comes back about 10 minutes later, I ask him what took him so long all he says is "call me captain clutch" I’m all confused high drunk all of that. We go back in the room and a little 40 or 50 year old Mexican housekeeper is waiting for us. Decent looking, We both ride her all night she gets done punches out. The last 3 weeks the lady just came to our room during her midnight shifts and same thing over and over again.. LOCATION: MINNESOTA

Dildos ?????

Well it was late in the season me and this rookie headed over to these girls house hoping for some 2 on 2 action. We go over there and right off the bat the vibes aren’t right. We send them to go get booze and the second they leave we raid there dresser drawers trying to find some stuff we can bring to court. We open the panty drawer and find an assortment of panties and a 6 inch pink dildo. I stuff it in my pocket and the girls come back. We drink all their booze realizing this night is not going anywhere. I take off and I start walking home drunk. The small town cops pull up behind me and turn on their lights. I take off like a black man. I start running through yards and as I come around the corner I run right into the cops .They pull their pistols and flash lights ,and tell me to get the fuck down. They cuff me , search my pockets, and hellllooo to the pink dildo and panties. They looked stunned. The cop then asks if she was hot and I reply “of course“. They take me down to the police station. I blow a 1.8 at 4:30 am which I believe is NAHL record. They call my house and my billets bail me out. As I check out of the station and approach the counter I give the cop my name and information. As soon as I do that all cops in the background start laughing and staring. Out he pulls the pink dildo and panties. LOCATION: N. IOWA

Milfs,Cops and White Socks

Early in the season I was dating a girl from the city I was playing in. and her little friend was having her 18 year b day party. So me and few of the boys crashed it looking for new tail. Two of the 4 took off to bang some tail. While me and my roommate sat back and held down the fort. I was running around and I got introduced to the mother while she was just getting sloshed. She was far from good looking. But she wanted dick. She asked me if I was model I told her no I play hockey. She then goes off and tells me how she knows a lot of people and has a lot of pull .But all she wants to do is fuck. My roommate came in when he heard all she wants to do was fuck and he had all the intention in the world on taking her down. So I let him be and wheel and I got try to find some other ass… half hour later he comes to me saying I need to get him upstairs in 15 minutes to meet the mom. Well as we try to walk upstairs some kid with beer muscles approaches us telling us we weren’t allowed upstairs. I let him know if he didn’t shit was going to get ugly. We go upstairs and #6 goes to the left to finish the mission at hand and while I wonder around the house seeing if there was anything worth stealing…. Nothing to steal…. While being bored I was waiting on the other 2 to come back. When they come back they find me in the upstairs hallway asking me where my roommate is. I whisper “he’s fucking the mom” right when I finish my statement a door opens, it’s the mom’s 14 year old son. My buddy proceeds to repeat my statement and loud enough for him to hear The son storms towards his mothers room , opens the door, slams it shut ,and screams “not again ,fuck, not again” .. Till this day I will never forget that statement .. My team mate tries to calm him down and tells him its not what it looks like and no one is in there. We re open the door and find the mom by herself. We look around the room and the back balcony door is open with the drapes swaying in the wind. We look at each other in awe…. Where is my roommate? We go downstairs, and by this time the cops were there breaking up the party. So we go outside and sit in our car, thinking to ourselves “ where the fuck did he go” at that time we hear a cop yelling “ Put your clothes on son, or turn around and keep running” We turn around ourselves and look who it was, good old number 6. Skipping back down the street in nothing but white socks and a smile. LOCATION:Massachusetts

Ski Hill Robbery

So I had just broken up with my girlfriend of 8 months and decided that I wanted to have an epic night with the boys, so it all started at about 1130 in the afternoon at my buddies house. We were all a bit poor seeing as we played junior hockey for a living, so we head down to the liquor store to pick up some cheap booze… and the cheapest thing there was baby duck champagne. So we each picked up about 2 or 3 huge bottle of this shit and go back to the house and just start crushing them! We were pretty hammered later on and decided we wanted to do something so me and 3 of my best buds raid his moms liquor cabinet and find a bottle of southern comfort and vodka and decide were gonna go up to the ski hill to sneak into the year round heated pool. So we get there after slamin back some serious booze and hop this fence to get in and were swimming around for a bit but I get bored and see that they left the pro shop open so the genius I am decide to grab a buddy and go in to steal some shit… we get about 2 feet in the store and the alarm goes off louder than fuck… my 2 buddies in the pool jump out and over the fence but the other dude cant get the fuck over the fence and im to drunk to give him a boost so I say fuck it and kick down the fence and we run over and have to hide in the bushes for like 30 mins to wait till the cops go away… we finally all meet back up at the car and are fucking shitting our pants that we almost got busted. So we end up crushing the rest of the bottles on the way home drunk out of our minds and have a great fucking night. LOCATION: BCHL

Lost in the Heat of Battle

So this story is a good one that I sometimes wish I could forget, but I am kind of proud of. We have all heard of hiding your buddies in the closet and it was kind of like that. I’m at my buddies house and its me and three other guys so we give this swap donkey a call. I am embarrassed to say she played football, was missing a tooth, and was rumored to have a stid. But she was alright lookin. She had already banged a few guys on the team and I figured someone would get lucky. Sure enough my buddy is getting banged on the bed and all three of us are in the room watchin and giggling like little girls. Funny thing is the girl just says, “I know you guys are in the room” and keeps pumpin. My one friend, was grabbin her tits and slappin her ass just laughin and she kept riding the other guy. For the first time in my life, it was too much, like a fucked up fetish porno, and I had to walk out. THEN the next thing I know I’m in the bathroom and this girl comes in cryin. I ask whats up? and she says “its stuck”. My buds condom had come off in her vaginal box and she couldn’t get it out. SO being a trooper I am. I fished that shit out like a like a bass fishing pro. LOCATION: NAHL

Sneaky Daughter

I was playing hockey over seas at the time and when I got back the season had already started. When I got back into town there was lack of support from the billets, and there were no more billets at the time. So my coach decided to take me in and let me live at his place for a couple weeks. His family was cool, along with his gorgeous blonde daughter who just screamed FUCK ME!! every time I looked at her.. She was a cool girl. Always talking to me. So I though she was the good girl type. Well one day I come home and the mom asks me if I wanted to go watch her nephews hockey game, because the only way her daughter would go was if I went. Of course I say yes. We sit down and the daughter and I start talking, she asks for my number. As soon as I give it to her I get a text in a matter of seconds. We start off with small talk… Obviously she’s texting me because we are about to talk about something we aren’t supposed to. Being Rico Suave, I say I herd from a younger team mate that you were a bad kisser. Which wasn’t true.. She t bombs me back with “ Well kissing isn’t my forte” and I ask what is and she said “ Fucking and sucking dick”.. Well fuck now we are talking.. I keep on looking over at coach and just laughing. He , not knowing his daughter was a little whore… we get back to the house and we are texting back and forth. I talked to my buddy online asking for advice. He was playing college hockey in Colorado Springs at the time.. He tells me do the damn thang.. As soon as that happens I text her saying “ we should get alone sometime” she tells me to sneak in her room. Well I didn’t want to get caught in her room. I rather have it the other way. So I just say “ listen, I don’t wanna get caught, I rather be able to blame everything on u. He wont be that mad at me in that case”. I was hoping she would come in that night. She didn’t…. Next night at dinner she sits across the table from me, and she is just smiling at me and rubbing my leg. I couldn’t help but laugh. Her dad asked whats the matter. I didn’t say anything… I’m laying in bet its almost 2 am. 15 minutes roll by and I’m pretty much asleep. I hear my door open and my sheets pull of me. I look over and its her. Naked under a long t shirt. She hops on top and we start fucking. She was a wild one. Must I add the parents room was straight across the hall way.. We switch positions and she started to scream heavily. I shoved her face straight into the pillow and held it there. She kept on trying to breath but I was too busy. I couldn’t risk her getting me caught. I finally let her up and by that time I was finished. I ended busting on the back of her long black shirt.. 4 days go by , Its time for the weekly washing of the clothes.. Coach starts yelling at his daughter. What the hell happened?? You ruined my work out shirt!!! LOCATION: ONTARIO

Cards, Dice, and Taxi Cab

We just got paid and wanted to head out and spend a little money. I play in the Coast and temptation is just breathing around us in Vegas. We start at the house with a some of the boys getting hammered and drinking some BL limes. Driving was not an option so we call over a taxi and get the night going for a RAGETASTIC night.. We stroll on into old Las Vegas. Feeling like straight ballers and acting like we ran show knowing we are the only pro team in town. A buddy of ours loved to play craps so we hit up the tables, not knowing what the fuck I was doing. We each have 2,000. All of us hoping to double up. Knowing we play in the coast and don’t get paid shit... Not knowing what I was doing I decide to get 1,000 in chips. While playing the field. If u all know, playing the field is the dumbest bet. U either hit the number or u loose your money. I end up loosing 1,000 with in 30 minutes. Along with my other buddies who win 500. We decided to get the fuck out and head to the strip where the rich folk were and play some poker. All of us decide poker is what he had the best chance at. I mean shit, that’s all we do on the road and played on buses in Jr’s. We sit at this table that had a dude wearing a gay ass hockey jersey, and one other guy. Thinking we were going to just hustle the table was a mistake. We end up loosing everything we had in a matter of 2 hours. Who the fuck did we just play?? Some dude named Daniel Negreanu (look him up). We ended up finding out he runs Vegas more that we ever will. So now we have no ride back home.. Well shit what do we do.. Taxi cab?? I guess so. We flag one down and hop in. All of us are looking around like wtf are we going to do. No money. Well the teenager in me gets this brilliant idea. So I text the boys. They all look at me with a little bit of worry.. I say follow my lead. We get back to our complex and I tell the taxi cab driver to let us out at this park. We all get out and everyone looks at me.. I take off running through the park like a sprinter, and everyone scatters like a bunch of little Mexicans… We learned 3 things that night. Dice and Cards don’t give a fuck who you are… Oh and we just lost a combined $14,000. LOCATION: NEVADA

Just a Mess

Playoff time… Last game of our home stand. Decided to head out to a party in the country. This was a real treat. Everyone from our team was being a bunch of bitches and decided to stay in for the night. Only about 5 of us and a couple health’s decided to roll on over for the shindig. The girl having it was this broad I’ve been slowly but surely trying to get after. Knowing that most guys on the team were after her, I was trying to stay incognito about the whole ordeal.... All of us roll in together. What do I see, some sloppy bitches dancing on a table. Well shit this is what I’m talking about. We all get our fair share of lap dances. But the girl I’ve been trying to get with gets on me and starts giving me some sort of lap dance? I dunno it was horrible. I was hoping she was going to serve her self a one way ticket to pound town. But not tonight. Shit would go far down south. We ended up going in this bathroom. I try to get some head, but ended up getting a little dry handy. Did i get off ?? no... She ends up getting on top of me while I’m sitting on the toilet seat, how classy eh? Oh hells yes it is!… We start making out and I’m just messing around down stairs, she kept on doing this obnoxious grinding on me. Well now she stands up, and my fingers have this thick paste feeling, I look down and look at her inner thigh….. WTF!!! Blood. ..Come to find out she was using my nice new Calvin Klein dress shirt as a rag and my fingers as tampons. LOCATION: VANCOUVER

Scuba Steve

It was a hot humid summer night and training camp was approaching and just got done with our alumni golf tournament. I was hanging out with this girl at her family bbq, and being the local celebrity that I was. The father was just loving me. Little did he know while we were talking about cars and hockey I was thinking about busting a massive load upon his daughters face. As the night went on many beers and tequila were being consumed and sexual tension between my cock and her face were approaching rapidly. She wanted it and in order to get away from the fam. She insisted on me teaching her to shoot a puck around the corner on her little bro’s street hockey net. But we both full well knew she had no attentions of learning she just wanted a little pre game warm up with some finger blast action. It was short warm up I didn’t want her father coming around the corner and seeing his little sweetheart in this unflattering position. So afterwards we found ourselves canoodling in the hot tub. The family was inside. One thing led to another and she started going down on me in the hot tub. I was in state of mind of nothing but pleasure. Then out of the dark here comes her little brother. Asking where his older sister was. As her lips were wrapped around my dick under water. I had no choice but to hold her down. She starts grabbing struggling to get some air. As I try and convince her brother that his sis was upstairs. He leaves just in the nick of time for his sis to come up for air. She was truly rattled but was a trooper and finished her job. LOCATION:TEXAS

Gasping For Air

After hooking up with girl for a few weeks. I knew she was down to get freaky. But I wanted to bring it out of her without freaking her out. Well one night after a tumble in the sheets. I ask “Is there anything you wanna do we haven’t tried.” and straight out of left field she goes yes I want you to choke me. I lay back in shock and I’m just completely blown away. What came out this hot little thangs mouth. She wanted me to choke her. Well I thought about it for a few days after a little team party. We start getting at it, and I was like fuck it, when in Rome. So I take my hand and put it to her neck like im her pimp. And she starts gasping for air. I'm freak out. last thing I need is to be caught with a dead girl in my bed. The thought of trying to explain to my billets why there is a dead girl in my bed. Plays back in my head again and again. But this little lady to my amazement tells me to choke her harder. Who I am not to grant this girl her wish?? So I start choking her like im Freddy Krueger. Throw all caution to wind. This act made me last longer then I ever have in my entire life probably because I was truly worried about murder. But after, this girl acted like she just ate about a handful of ecstasy pills. LOCATION: MINNESOTA

Knockin The Skates

After rockin out my 9k’s till they were near death. Mom and pops sent me a brand new pair of 9k’s well after pracky. I got them heat molded and brought them home and into my room. Well this little philly I've been seeing for a few weeks came over for the nightly slay sess. Well anyways I felt like changing it up a bit so before we start going at it I took my skates laced them up like it’s a Saturday night home game, however this was tricky little move. I recommend this move to everyone. It felt like I broke my skates in without the pain, it was all great until she moved to reverse cowgirl and saw the steel from my skates gleaming in the moon light, but being the winner she was she didn’t let it distract her from the job at hand. LOCATION: NAHL

Enaged in a Dark Experience

This story is rare for its kind. I was one of those kids going into Jr's as a virgin. And was my rookie party a night for the books. 3 years ago playing Major Jr's. Some of my team mates and i decide to get drunk. Now i dont get drunk much. By the way, we were drinking Polar Ice Vodka. You know when Polar Ice gets busted out your in for a wild night. One of the vets hits up some sluts. The kind that crave for the rookie parties. I was introduced to one and there wasnt even a hug. She grabbs my ass for a hello. We get to drinking and finish off a handle. Her and i end up going behind some apartments and just getting naked in the grass. Its only 1130 am. I'm already fucked up as it is. She lays on the grass spread eagle. I didnt know what to do. I didnt have an assortment of positions yet. I mean i always saw pornstars hit it from the back. So thats what I felt i knew how to do. How hard can it be right??? Pretty fucking hard, I end of thrusting my cock in her pooper and getting about 4 pumps in. I didnt think i would ever see a girl cry having sex. She did... We end up leaving early, thanks to my inexperience.. Now we are finally on the way to the rookie party. The night is already epic. The night rolls on and i'm already reeling in some girl to go up stairs. I think i already knew what not to do. We get it going, she doesnt wanna bang. So i did something i havent done before; eat pussy. Welp lets just say i was on a roll with the assholes that night. LOCATION: WESTERN CANADA

The Faithful Black Belt

This is a story i told to my team mates on multiple teams on bus rides that really got a good buzz going. So it was my last night in my hometown before i had to report for training camp so like any good beauty would do i go out and get absolutley wrecked with all my boys. All night theres this black girl at the party and being from minny the black belt is a rare but gem of a play. So shes looking pretty good and as the night goes on i get the wheels rollin and by this time im already probably 12 beers deep saying anything and everything to this girl. So the end of the night rolls around and she asks me to give her a ride home being the gentlemen i am i drive her home drunk as a skunk. We get to her house and immediatley go down to her room. Within 5 min all clothes are off condom is out and its about to get wild. I think about it and i ask her are your parents home? and she says yea but dont worry about it. So i just get after it and start beatin cheeks. Shes gettin kinda loud with her moans but i was soo drunk i just went with it and didnt think much of it till i here a knock at the door. Im thinken ooo fuck her big black dad is gona come in here n one punch the shit out of me. sure enough i slide off the bed and in comes this big husky black guy. I try to be as quiet as possible but the way his daughter was screamin he knew i was in the room so he looks around and sees this skinny white kid naked on the floor next to the bed and all i hear is What in the FUCK. I immediatley get up grab my pants and pretty much sprint past him. He follows me up the stairs pretty much step for step and by the way im still naked with my pants in my hands i get to the door and yell sorry and he replies no your not and to be honest i really wasnt. I drove home naked and hammered with my first black belt and it was a treat. LOCATION: MINNESOTA

SCREAMIN and tag TEAMin

Well the night started off with us hanging out in the country. Having a good time. My friend was wanting me to take one for the team. What i didnt understand was how i was taking one for the team when my girl was 100 times hotter than his chick. My girl was from Sweeden and stereotypical swede at that; Blonde, u know, the waterworks. She kept on telling me how she doesnt do things with guys on the first night. Well fuck you know what that means, GREEN LIGHT.... At this point we were sitting on top of the hood. I was trying to make it seem as if i was interested in the stars and type of music she listened to. All i could really think about was runnin some pipe. We get back to the house and my buddy is laying in bed. I have to wake his ass up and tell him we are going to try a 3 some. As i'm trying to plan shit out i look on the ground and the buddy who told me to take one for the team is beating some skins on the ground. 5 mintutes roll by and hes hitting it from the back pulling some hair. The sex aroma must of been in the air because as soon as that happend little miss " I dont do things with a guy" starts making out with my buddy. I take the green light and start suckin on some titties, my signature move. as soon as i suck those raw a go straight for the VAG. in full force!! ended up making her scream and act just like a farm animal. I guess growing up around a farm the animals rubbed off on her. I wake up around 4 am. Thinking it was some sort animal that woke me, come to find out it was. It was her screamin to my buddy.
LOCATION: IOWA

3 Course Meal

As everyone knows the winters get long and cold in a hockey season. So one super fan added me on MSN. But she would do anything for me. So one cold November night I was craving 3 things strawberry milk, Tim Horton’s honey crullers, and a blowjob. So I call the girl over tell her to bring over a half dozen honey crullers and strawberry milk. Like clock work she rings my doorbell with the items in hand. We go down to my room. I agree to give her some of the honey crullers. One catch I put them on my penis like a ring. 3 on my dong and 3 for me. This easily could be the best experience of my life as I eat the donuts and sip some strawberry milk while I got domed up… I couldn’t decide what was better the blowjob or the honey cruel strawberry milk combo. LOCATION: Vancouver Island, B.C

Glass Cabin and Captain Stabbin

Partying in Alaska is like nowhere else just unbelievable , playing for
Alaska could very well be the most miserable place to play in the
league. Around Christmas time I asked for a trade. Before I go of
course the guys decide to have a little going away party at my
roommates glass cabin right off the ocean. If you have no idea the
glass cabin is its one huge bus stop totally enclosed, all glass and
pretty much the size of a typical cabin. Everyones having a great time
and feeling good. A close buddy on the team and I take a walk to the
ocean to throw in anything we can find. We realize its frozen for a
while and we are getting frustrated because we cant throw his cell
phone far enough to hit water. So while I watch him risk his life on
thin ice to retrieve his piece of shit nokia i get on a rampage because
I realize we both throw like a girl . We hike up the beach back to the
glass cabin. As we walk in another guy on a team(the creator of R.V.)
decides to throw beer cans on the floor. Being the loyal roommate I am
this doesnt sit well with my drunk ass so I tell him to pick it up, he
looks at me and tells me to go fuck myself. So I did what any loyal
roommate would do, I punched him in the head. He stumbled a little and
came back with a right that knocked me on my ass, we rolled around for
a bit before it was broke up. So while all this is going on it has
gotten pretty late so the boys decide to hit the hay in the real cabin
next door and leave me in the glass cabin with a beer, a fire, and a
donkey. Them knowing what was going to happen waited twenty mintues
and snuck out. The boys lined around the glass cabin and watched me go
to town with the donk in the glow of the fire. Me having the first lay
and scrap in the cabin in one night. It has been named after me. I
dont know about you but I think my last night in the AK was a success.
LOCATION: ALASKA

Bubble Wrap Bandit

Well I'm going to open this up for the fellow USHLers. Its around Christmas time in good old Nebraska. Some of us just hit up the strip club. But I wasn't eyeing the strippers. It was something about the cocktail waitress. As the night goes on I decide I wanted to atleast try. I played for the hockey team so she had to know whats up. It was pretty easy, matter in fact she leaves me her number on a napkin. I didnt even need to try. I tell her a friend was having a party the next night... Next night: She comes over by herself. A bunch of the boys are up stairs playing Xbox. She decides she wants to start taking shots of patrone. Now i wasnt a tequila drinker. So my sly slef decides to take a bottle of coke and act like it was a chaser. I take the shot and keep it in my mouth and spit it back in the bottle of coke. I'm sitting there while she starts to get drunk. Things get heated. I put her on the counter and take her top off, pierced nipples. The boys are up stairs just watching, and she new. I guess she is used to the attention.. We decide to go back to her place.. I'm waiting on the bed just hanging out. wondering where the hell is she.. 5 more minutes pass by and she comes out in a Bubble Wrap biking. Home made must i add. Walks towards me and asks. Wanna pop my bubbles??? Location: Nebraska

Instant Replay

A week before x mas break a few season s back my billet grand daughter came back from college. Now this lovely young lady face and body resembles a bulldog just horrible weighting in at good 185 face and teeth just horrible. I rather stick my dick in a meat grinder then put it any where near this atrocity. Well my roommate and I have over the team dirt bag who would bang a dead body like it was no big deal. He eats dinner with us his monster truck wheels start going with the skeez. We open some x mas presents earlier the lovely young future fat porn star gets you guessed it a video camera. Well her parents leave and my billets go to sleep we start watching a movie the dirt bag pulls me a side and says let me borrow your bed soo I can knock the dust of that box of hers. I agree under one condition he video tapes it soo I grab the camera put it on top of my TV aim towards the bed put it behind an extra visor throw some clothes on top of it. So its hidden, I put my face on camera make sure it works go back downstairs 34 seconds later dirt bag and the bulldog wonder into my room I sit and wait knowing there will be video of what is commencing upstairs well 20 minutes later they come down she leaves I run upstairs get the camera hook it up to the big screen and start watching… im fully disgusted watching my teammate take this over weight whale and throw her around my bed like it was god damn wrestling ring what was on the video I had nightmares over he did her every which way. I had a new respect for him I almost threw up watching the video him bang this war pig he actually DID IT. 20 minutes later she calls wondering where the camera is I tell dirt bag make sure he deletes the video. He says he does. Next half of the season is extremely awkward as the dumb bastard forgot to delete the video. My billet parents barley talk to me for 3 months. The father of the war pig sat me and my roommate down saying how disgusted he was and he we deserve to be thrown in jail. But her being legal and since its not against the law to be a whore he could do nothing. LOCATION: michigan

Police Frenzy

This was going through the grape vine. But i'm ballsy enough to tell. On a road trip about a year ago. We had 2 dirtballs on our team. We just gout done with a 2 week roadtrip. We wouldnt play a game for another 5 days. Our mission was to get wasted.. Well the dirtballs on the team decided to invite some girls over to the hotel. 2 ugly, greasy ones at that. They would always be chillin by our warm up spot in the stands.. Well its about 2 a.m. we try to sneak out of our room. we are coming down the elevator and we think we hear our coaches voice.. nope 2 cops. Come to find out that one of the girls is a runaway and also near underadge (hint hint). well The cops end up arresting the 2 girls. The dirtballs are left at the rink the next day from the team bus with trying to find their own way home. LOCATION: KANSAS

DUI's and Ride or Die Bitches

So lucky me, mid season the weekend we had off my little billet bro had a bantam tourney up north. So come Friday I had the house to myself . Friday night being a rookie I called over my bitty slammed it out. But Saturday I was gunna throw a rager for the boys. All the guys show up. First we start pre gaming then the donkeys roll thru on time of course. But half hour late trying to be fashionable” but being from this hick town its dam near impossible” the sluts just show up just drunk as skunks. Not only is one of these broads decent she is the billet coordinators daughter; I could careless. So she starts taking shots the hot girl I truly wanna bang is in my billet bros room with the meat on the team. I didn’t wanna ruin his game but I full well knew I could bang both these broads tonight no problem. So 7 tequila shots later the billet coordinators daughter is falling all over the place. Being the gentlemen I am I tell her we need to go upstairs 5 minutes later her pants off. Mind you my room is a loft soo within seconds I got 7 teammates around me, one mother fucker is tickling my feet to get back at me. I start bangin her I just want it to get over. I put on a show for the guy pullin her hair telling her to call MR. LONGSLONG; she has no problem yelling my fake name I can hear the boys giggling I blow my load go downstairs. Act like nothing happened. Now focusing on my mission to bang the hot broad down stairs. In the mean time kranzer takes my sloppy second into my billets downstairs bathroom. While I whisper sweet nothings into the hot broads ear. I hear a ruckus upstairs I knock on my upstairs bathroom. Kranzer fucks her like a champ. but I notice human fluid on the wall which isn’t ok with me. But kranzer can do no wrong soo I start yelling at the skank tell her to get the fuck out she leaves. I got downstairs once everyone leaves and I fuck a 2nd time to put the icing on the cake. To make all situations better,,, the little slut I kicked out got a DUI and not only did she get one she was a big enough champ not to rat me out. Now that’s a true ride or die bitch. LOCATION: ALASKA

THE DONT... a game for all to play

Around August or so our team would report to main camp. It's pretty hot in Minnesota around that time and after two a days and working your ass off a long night by the pool with the boys and throwin a few back is how it would end. Of course throwing a few girls in the mix is key. Throught the years we figured how to get the girls undressed quick and easy. Quite retarted how easy it was if you ask me. The name of the game was called "THE DONT". We called it the dont because,,, well girls dont like getting naked, So they tell us at the start of the game. We should just call the game, The Willing. Because girls were willing to do anything. How to play was simple. You need to have a pool basketball hoop. If i were to make a shot the girl had to do what i say. Now we couldnt go for the big play at the start of the game so we would start off slow. With an ass grab, run around the pool naked, grab a boob, and slowly but surely the girls were going skiing on the pool steps or as we would like to say Swimming laps (sex) Location: Minnesota

Taste of Another Persons Medicine

So.. Rookie party 2 years ago in Sask... About 30 kids on the team at the time. Some kid form Van. decides hes going to start talking to a girl who just got fake tits. The girl is only 18 and letting guys on the team go around the corner and touch her tits, poke em, and do whatever. Well I was one of the kids feeling on her tits. I say why not, if this isnt the time to take her up stairs. Then when is?? So i take her by the hand and say , lets go...She looked as if she hasnt seen the sun for days. Which makes sense because we are in damn Sask.. anyway on with the story. So we go upstairs. I didnt have a condom so she just gives me some head. Bad head at that. I decide to take matters into my own hands and beat it on her chest.. I walk down stairs and tell the guys what happened, and how I busted on her tits. kid from Van. hears she is upstairs by her self. He goes up, comes back after 10 minutes.. A kid from So cal. comes up with the idea that he had to of been suckin on her tits. I mean thats one of the first things you do. So the kid from Vancouver pokes his head over the railing and the cali kid yells " tell me you sucked on those tits, they are fake, you had to!!".. With full confidence and poise he smiles and said "fuck yeah i did". Without knowing that I busted all over those fake bombs. and he cleaned her up for me. LOCATION: SJHL

Video Debut

One late winter night I crashed over at one of my buddies place with a few of the guys. But my night isn’t complete its only 2am In Alaska. I call this sweet piece of ass I've been slammin for the past few weeks so I can bang one out. Well this skeez comes rollin thru with her skeez of a friend 45 minutes later drunk as if about 10 Indians stumbled downstairs into the basement. There’s my first credit of the night. So the other 3 hide behind the couch one in the basement. The one grabs a video camera. All I can think about is makin my peter north debut. Well she comes in. My buddy on the blow up bed is in heaven startin to get domed up. He gives me the thumbs up. The tv is on tom cruise and hes about to enter the danger zone and so am I my good sir‘s. I try to keep the kissin to a minium I get my hog going and I start poundin some skins as she starts moaning. Curts comes out the closet like a god damn steven spehlberg with the son of a bitches camera rollin. I am now an official porn star. I pound out for about 15 minutes. The other 2 are watching me go to town from behind the couch. I finish and colapse. My little sex kitten says the worst thing to say after i bust a bahemoth of a load on her. “We just made a baby.” with disgust and anger I tell her to get the fuck out and kick her out the house; she cant walk, shes soo drunk and her friend isn’t much better. next day of pracky we hook up the camera to the big screen that’s where I make my big screen debut. all you see me is pounding this lovely damn near UNDERADGED broad to the brink of death with lovely thrusts. This is one of my prouder momenuts of my life. LOCATION: ALASKA

Owners Daughter....No Big deal

The First rule when I was added on the team was no relations with anyone from the, front office staff daughters, or owners daughters.. Well fuck. whats the fun in that. First order of business was fininding out who these broads were so I could start planting the seeds and get the ball rolling. so you know after a game winner I would have something to plow.. First girl I run into was the owners daughter...This girl was like shooting fish in a barrel. Easy as can be. About 6 months into the season we get a party going at the billets house. Playoffs may I add. A couple buddies from the other team come. Its a chill night. Her and I get the ball rollin in the hot tub. I stand up with a boner in the hot tub. Its alright we are all da boyce. she takes my hand and we make it down stairs. Finger blasting away... as 10 minutes go by I here a stampede of guys coming down the stairs and knocking on the door yelling my name... Scared as shit, knowing that if i were to get caught i'd be sent home in the morning.. So her and i make way through the bedroom window and off to her car.. We thought it was the perfect idea.. I was raw dogin it and just smashing away for a good time, eatin some box, the whole 9 yards. As drunk as we were, we swore the doors were locked... 5 minutes later the trunk pops open and helllllllo to my linemate, and I look to the right and there was 4 others just smiling. Now she was freaking out.. not me I remained composed and whaled one away and got off all over her thighs.I hop out the car with a full steamer just pissing everywhere butt ass naked. My captain was is in aww. all 6 of us were laughing.. we made a pat right there that no one would find out........ But of course you have those tools that must tell others. court came on monday and may I add her brother was on our team and the fighter........... great times great times LOCATION: Washington

Parental Disturbance

After a nice clean sweep my buddies and I decided to go wheeling around the town. Trying to find a new piece of ass that wasn’t touched by any of the boys yet… On a alcoholic rampage we finally find some sweet bitties. Problem was only one was down for the ground and pound. With the intelligence of a hockey player two ideas came to mind. 1. We try to canoodle our way and try to get a couple tug jobs out of it or possibly a slay sesh. 2. One of us goes for it and a couple of us get a show.. The show is what we chose. My buddies decided to head back to the billets and set up shop for the show. As I started dancing around with smooth words and a getting her liquored up she gave in. Getting her to think I was a local celebrity and possibly going to the show, and if there was ever a chance of us being together I would get her out of the shit hole town that she was in now… Any way, to the billets we went. I go into the house to see if the coast was clear. So happens that Alvy is on the floor in a drunken slumber passed out. In a rush we come up with the brilliant idea of piling pillows and blankets on him…The scene was now set. The other 2 hop in the closet.. She comes in and we start getting at it.. . For about 30 minutes I start slamming ass hard.. Throwing out all the stops. Trying to make things as loud as I could. Due to the fact of rummaging and laughter in the closet.. As I pull out the reverse cowgirl I see bright lights in the driveway.. As I don’t mind the lights as I am in to the movement of her tits in my face, my teammate storms out of the closet. MY Billet Parents are home!!! I think quick. Throw the girl off the bed, which happened to be onto my friend passed out in a drunken slumber. Of course he wakes up. To a voluptuous ass in his face at that… The girl in a daze asks “ have they been there the whole time” to my quick thinking; which us hockey players posses. I say “ no they just walked in”. at that time my other teammate walks out of the closet. Still with no clue as to what was going on, my Jr a. babe runs into the bathroom. As she is in shock she proceeds to give a blowjob (best ever may I add) . . As to if the event that just took place never occurred. The night ended as I walked her to her car exchanging a nice finger blast session and a kiss on the cheek. LOCATION: British Columbia